Why You Are Not Making the Easy Changes in Your Life

When we think about self-improvement, I think a lot of us think about dramatic, drastic changes in ourselves, lives and outlook.

We imagine, waking up one day, running five miles before the sun is up, meditating, drinking a kale smoothie, having a highly productive day, and each and every day at work, coming home and being a positive person to your partner and family and then wrapping the day off with journaling and some self-reflection about just how amazing the day went.

We do not imagine that the road to self-improvement could be simple.

We do not imagine that the road to self-improvement could be simply adding a ten-minute walk into our day after dinner because that is not enough.

We do not imagine that the road to self-improvement could be simply removing that daily habit of hitting the snooze button because that (small) action could not possibly be the reason each and every one of your days is a chaotic mess. 

We do not imagine that the road to self-improvement could be simply stopping the negative self-talk and spending five minutes each morning thinking about three things you are truly grateful for because it just feels too silly to be meaningful. 

We want the change to be dramatic, gigantic and completely unattainable because if the change is simple, small and attainable, then WE are the problem.

It is very easy to stay stuck in the same shitty situation you have been in for far too long when you make yourself believe that the life you want to lead is out of your reach, too hard and extremely complicated. 

It becomes entirely unfathomable to think that you are the only obstacle in the way of your life’s desires.

Nothing is out of your reach, it is simply your mindset which is the limit. 

The next time you think about that glossy, shiny, perfect version of yourself, think about one simple small change you could make which would get you an inch, nay, a millimetre closer to that goal. 

Add that little positive task to your day and instead of thinking that it is a waste of time or not going to accumulate to anything substantial, simply perform the act for thirty days. 

See how you feel after a month. Think about how much time it actually took to incorporate this little task into your life. Project on how it will be as you begin to add more and more little positivities into your daily routine.

When we focus on the big picture everything seems out of reach, but when you think about simply the day ahead or even just the next sixty minutes, accomplishment becomes much more attainable. 

What you do over a lifetime is simply the accumulation of small, simple accomplishments. 

You live a healthy life by making small, simple and healthy decisions each day.

You build a strong career by focusing on the priorities which are of highest need right now and put your full attention into them and do them well. 

You build a strong family life by letting yesterday’s issues go and not projecting on what pain tomorrow might bring and simply enjoying and prospering in this day. 

You will not accomplish everything in one day but you will amaze yourself at what you can accomplish when you quit wasting the day away by explaining why you cannot and simply do.

Why We Need to Learn to Live within Our Means

“Few people have any next, they live from hand to mouth without a plan, and are always at the end of their line.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson

During times of uncertainty, stress and chaos most people’s first concern is ‘How will I keep myself and my family safe?’ 

Safe usually entails keeping food on the table, a roof over everyone’s head and a sense of serenity within the household. In order to ensure safety for one’s family, the biggest source of stress comes from money (or lack thereof). 

Money, none of us seem to ever have enough of it, but we all seem to spend it quite effortlessly. We never seem to get that savings account to a decent figure, but our closets are filled to the brim, our fridges have ample options to choose from for each meal and we subscribe to every streaming service available. 

Why do we struggle to save for the unknown? 

Why do we struggle to save for the future?

Why are short term wants so difficult to ignore?

“Always plan ahead. It wasn’t raining when Noah built the ark.” ― Richard Cushing

Why is it so hard to get your finances in order so that we are better prepared for difficult times?

We struggle to save for the future because we feel that we can always start tomorrow, well tomorrow has come and we are ill prepared. 

It is romantic to dream that you will be better in the future. 

We all romanticize our future selves, imagining ourselves as better versions of who we are today: richer, skinnier, healthier, happier, wiser and smarter. However, this future version of ourselves is not simply going to knock on our front door and take over, we need to create this person. Creating this person means sacrificing what you want today for what you know you will need tomorrow. 

What we do each day moulds us into the person we become. 

The future always seems so far away, until it slaps you in the face. It can be hard to prepare for a rainy day, a difficult time period or the tomorrow’s you feel may never arrive, but it is essential that we start shifting into this mindset. Our current circumstances have shown how foolishly we have been living and we should all take this as a severe lesson to be learnt and never to be repeated again.

“A man who does not plan long ahead will find trouble at his door.” ― Confucius

The future always seems so far away. 

It always seems that next month is the best time to start managing your finances. Tomorrow always seems like the day you will become the more responsible version of yourself, but that tomorrow never seems to come. We always plan to manage our finances or become stricter with our excessive spending soon, but never right now. It can be hard to stop spending on wants, which is why we always ignore preparing for inevitable, but we will feel more confident once we do. 

The future is built on what one does today, so make the foundation of all of your tomorrow’s as strong as you possibly can.

“It takes as much energy to wish as it does to plan.” ― Eleanor Roosevelt

It is so much easier to ignore your finances than to actually delve deep into them because it can be stressful to balance your budget. 

The idea of managing your money can be overwhelming because most of us do not know where to start. However, there are professionals to help us with this matter. Get your finances in check by making an appointment with your bank, so that they can help you get on the right path. In the beginning, it might feel cumbersome and foreign to start balancing your budget, but the payoff will be worth it. Once you start realizing where your money goes, controlling excessive or unnecessary spending and saving for the future, you will start looking forward to this daily ritual. 

Managing your money feels as though you will have to forgo all of today’s pleasures.

When we are living outside of our means it can be hard to imagine a future without all of the luxuries we have become accustomed to. The problem with this thinking is that a lot of the things we believe are privileges are actually self-made prisons. If you are buying clothes on credit, driving a car you are making monthly payments on and eating out when you have a lot of debt, you are living outside of your means. 

The privileges you think you deserve you actually cannot afford and you are lying to yourself and jeopardizing your future when you choose to continue living this way. 

Living below your earnings means that you are making smarter decisions today, so that tomorrow is that much easier. It does not mean that you can never go out for dinner, buy a new shirt or get a coffee to go, it simply means you have to make these purchases less often and with more forethought put into them. 

Stop spending without thinking. Stop imprisoning yourself with impulse buying and start strategically spending your savings.

Stop letting urges imprison you into a lifestyle you loathe. 

The more your save, the easier life will get. 

“The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining.” ― John F. Kennedy

In the beginning, it will be very tough to become frugal, but as the days become weeks and weeks morph into months you will start seeing the benefits. When you are no longer chained to a monthly credit card payment or imprisoned by monthly car payments you will realize how far your paycheck really goes. Once you start ridding yourself of debt and attaining some savings, you will feel more confident in your ability to make smart decisions about money. You will start enjoying making dinners at home because you will see how much money you were wasting away at restaurants and bars. 

You are afraid that if you stop living the way you do, you will lose your social life. 

Saving money and being a hermit does not have to go hand in hand. You can still see your friends, travel, and have a full and exciting life without burning through the dollar bills. Start hosting monthly potluck dinners with your friends, instead of meeting for drinks every week. Create a book club, so that you can socialize with others at one another’s homes, instead of establishments where you spend an excessive amount. Find cheap, fun ways to exercise, instead of paying for a pricey gym membership. Look for deals and discounts for things you enjoy doing or activities you are interested in pursuing. 

“Good fortune is what happens when opportunity meets with planning.” ― Thomas Edison

Let this time of crisis not be lost to stress. 

Learn from what is happening and what has been negatively impacting you. How can you now be better prepared for the future? What habits do you need to rid yourself of? What habits do you need to instill in your lifestyle? We do not wish for bad days, but we must be ready for them. The better prepared we are, the better we are to ourselves, our family and friends. 

Once we have learned to live with less is when we are actually living a life of wealth.

Why This is the Time to Level Up

During this period of extreme uncertainty, it can be difficult to find the motivation to get out of bed in the mornings. You may be stressed about your relationship, finances, job stability or all three and the weight of the world makes it hard to face the day.

As tempting as it may be to wallow, waste away and be weary right now, I would strongly advise against these temptations. 

Because this is the exact right time to level up. 


The world is never going to go back to the way it was. 

We are silly if we are sitting here, waiting for things to go back to normal. Nothing is ever going to go back to normal after this. This crisis is going to force us to change everything about how we live, from how we travel, work, socialize and spend our free time. 

Nothing will be returning back to the status quo and this is amazing. 

Change is good. Change can make things better. Change can make us better. Change can bring us closer together.

This is a great opportunity to be on the cusp of new emerging trends and be one of the creative, ambitious and forward-thinking leaders of tomorrow. 

You can help lead your colleagues, friends, family and self into a new world by seeing this time as a precious opportunity. You get to hibernate away and finally have the time to do all of the things which you have always wanted to do. Think about what you did not like about your life before this happened and start applying ways to ensure you do not go back into those ruts once this problem has a solution.

When you think about your job and how you are currently working versus how you use to work, what does the ideal future look like? 

Scrutinize your organization and roles, see if you can draft up how what is being learned during the crisis and how it can be used in the future to streamline processes. Start drafting arguments for a new workplace design because the way of the old was clearly not working and leaders are interested and excited to learn and improve. See how you can be a leader in your organization and how your positive outlook and ability to find the good in a bad situation will be beneficial to your career path. 

Where are you wasting time?

Are you spending too much time on social media? Too much time in front of the television? Too much time in bed? 

This is the perfect time to zero in on your biggest vices and rid yourself of them. We need to start seeing how beneficial this lockdown lifestyle really is and how we can improve from it. 

If you are spending too much time on social media, delete the apps from your phone before you go to bed and try not to download them again for at least twenty-four hours. See where you spend your time when it is not being wasted scrolling. 

If you are spending too much time watching television, challenge yourself to not turn on the set until at least noon and see how this behaviour changes your day. Each day you will realize that you will stop feeling so tempted by tube time and you will start filling your day with things of greater value. 

If you are spending too much time in bed, try to get a routine going again. Who knows how long we are going to be in this situation for and I think we can all agree that the no rules, all fun portion of quarantine has run its course. 

It is time to make this time meaningful. 

 Start each day off on the right track. 

Create a structure to your day. Create a structure for your house and dedicate certain areas for certain tasks. Vow to wake up at a decent time (whatever that is for you) and spend the first four hours of your day doing good work. Whether that is a workout, healthy breakfast, household cleanup and reading or meditation, working from home and a run around the block, make the morning count. If after those rigorous first four hours you go back to bed, do not beat yourself up. Aim to spend five productive hours the next day and see how it goes. 

How are you socializing and making positive connections with others?

Let’s quit bickering with our spouses, yelling at the dog and complaining to our friends via text. We need to see this time as an opportunity where we can learn, grow and improve. Let’s quit looking at how everyone around us is driving us crazy with their lazy, selfish ways and start seeing how we can be better for ourselves and others each day. 

Start acting like the person you want to live with. Stop telling people what you want to see from them and show them positive behaviours to mimic instead.

Think about who you do not miss seeing and speaking to every day or on a regular basis. 

Maybe your colleague Karen, with her morning rant of how much she hates her job, was not as harmless as you once thought. Perhaps without that negative outlook on your job each morning you are finding more purpose in what you do. 

How about the lack of Friday night drinks with your friends? Who do you not miss? Why? This is a really good time to foster and strengthen the friendships which lift you up and to disassociate from the ones you may be realizing were bringing you down. 

Make effort with the individuals who inspire, excite and promote good things. Foster connections with individuals who you may have been meaning to get to know better. A simple way to open a line of communication is by sending an email or direct message to the person you wish to know better, asking how they are doing during this difficult time. 

Plan at least one virtual social get together a week. 

This is the perfect time to connect with that old college friend you are always meaning to call or your favourite aunty, who you rarely get to see. Make sure you are setting up social engagements that are beneficial and motivating. Socialize with people who build you up and are able to see the positive points in our current situation. We are strongly influenced by those we spend the most time with, so choose those people wisely. 

How are you taking care of yourself? How are you not taking care of yourself? 

Spend this way to research and plan out positive changes to your everyday life, which you can bring with you to the next chapter of your life. Not everything that works for someone else is going to seamlessly integrate into your own unique journey, but this is the perfect time to test out methods, reflect on how you feel with positive integrations into your day and what you wish to carry with you forward.

Each morning list three things and people you are grateful for in your journal. Next, write down a positive affirmation for the day. Make the day a great day before it even begins by believing it will be a great day. Focus on controlling your emotions and find simple tools to utilize when you feel your frustrations rise. 

Perhaps you start taking the dog for a stroll around the block every few hours, just to get some alone time, clear your head and reflect on how you feel. Maybe you sit on the sundeck each morning with a cup of coffee and simply observe life around you for the first thirty minutes of the day. Or try something completely unique which works for you. 

Instead of promising to be perfect tomorrow, or vowing to make next week the week, you become your best self, try to integrate small changes into each day. Have a cup of green tea, instead of that fourth cup of coffee. Read one page of a book, before you scroll through your Instagram feed. Do ten squats before you open the fridge. Make your challenges small enough that they are not too overwhelming to do. 

Take a good look at your finances, past, present and (plan for the) future.

Where were you spending way too much money and are saving now? Where are you spending too much money still? Where would you like to stop excessive spending in the future? 

Maybe you bought a coffee every morning before work and now you are making daily use of your previously dusty old coffee maker. How does saving that five dollars a day feel? What should you do with this extra money? Maybe start intentionally moving five dollars into a savings account each day and watch it grow. 

Perhaps you have always wanted to learn how to invest some of your money. This is the perfect time to research the best options for your lifestyle, income and final goals. You could schedule a phone appointment with a banker, accountant or broker to learn where you could save money monthly. 

The most important area to level up in is your mind. What are your negative thought patterns? What is the self-imposed prison you live in?

Pay attention to how you speak to yourself or about yourself and try to change negative thought patterns by replacing them with positive ones. If you are constantly telling yourself you are not healthy, probe into why you think that about yourself. Find simple steps you can start taking today to help change this self-limiting belief. Maybe you are someone who always feels victimized by others. Start laying out how you can be in more control of your life and stop blaming others for your own circumstance. 

By replacing negative thoughts and opinions about ourselves with positive ones, everything else you hope to accomplish with be infinitely easier to do. 

Who knows if this will last another week, month or year, but all I can say is regardless of the length of time, it is the quality of the minutes which matter. 

Let’s not throw away 2020 as a wasted year because of (some) restrictions and changes to our daily routine. The current state of the world is going to change our world forever, so we need to learn to be flexible, adaptable and positive in order to be successful through the tough times and the times to come. 

We can either hide away and blame this virus for why we are not successful, our best selves or unhappy or we can find the value in this challenging situation, learn from it and challenge ourselves to be better with every new day we are lucky enough to be living.

The Fastest Way to Achieve Success is by Spending Less Time

As a person who always has multiple things on the go, I am ruthless with how and where I spend my time. 

Time is a finite resource, but we use it (or abuse it) as though it is not. 

Once you start seeing each day as the valuable, irreplaceable entity it really is, you will start to drastically change how you spend your time

You will realize that spending a day binge-watching a subpar Netflix series is actually extremely detrimental.

You will realize that putting off exercise for one more day is not as harmless as you used to perceive it to be. 

You will realize that ignoring that phone call from a loved one is actually much more selfish than you may have previously felt it was. 

Imagine if your time ran out tonight, would you be happy with how you spent your last day?

I by no means am an advocate of spending all of your waking hours trying to become successful. I believe becoming successful, in a specific area of your life, comes from creating a harmonious relationship within all areas of importance in your life and making the appropriate time for all of them. 

The first step to reclaiming your relationship with success is to start giving yourself less time than you are comfortable with. 

The first step to empowering yourself is by making yourself uncomfortable. Many times, especially when a goal is very large and cumbersome, we instill weak timelines, which makes it easier to ignore what can be done today. 

When you give yourself a year to lose ten pounds, what is the inherent rush to start changing your diet today? There is always the start of a forthcoming new week to hold off until. 

When you say that you will start searching for your dream job, once your current professional responsibilities slow down, you are basically telling yourself that it is okay to stay exactly where you are forever. 

When you say that you will start spending more time with the kids after work, once the weather changes and you feel less lethargic, you are robbing yourself of making beautiful memories today. 

If our lives were over today, would we be grateful that we avoided our families, professional responsibilities and personal goals in the pursuit of procrastination and watching one more shitty episode of some show?

When you give yourself a ruthless timeline to complete a goal, the goal will become a primary part of each day, thereby increasing the chances of reaching success.

When you are not ridding yourself of interruptions, distractions and unnecessary breaks, your tasks will always take three to four times the amount of time needed. 

When I was completing courses for my Master’s program, colleagues and I would always compare marks on the papers we submitted. We always had similar marks, something ranging from eighty to ninety percent, but what varied greatly was the amount of time each of us was spending writing the papers. 

Whenever I received an assignment, I would gauge how long I would spend on it based on the percentage of the total mark it was worth. For example, if a paper was worth fifteen percent of my final mark, I would allow myself seven hours to complete said paper. Those seven hours were utilized very strictly too, so that I ensured that I was not wasting a single minute of the time. 

What surprised me is that colleagues of mine were spending two, three to even four times the amount of hours I was spending on my paper and we were receiving parallel marks on the final assignments. It upset my colleagues how little time they felt I was spending, but what I realized was that our perception of the paper was what impacting our ability to execute. 

When you allow yourself ‘as much time as it takes’ to complete a task, you are not going into working on the task with the zeal someone like me is. Perhaps you start your day by researching articles for your paper, while surfing the net, answering text messages and calls as they come in, regardless of their level of importance and grazing through Instagram. 

At the end of the day, when you meet your partner for a much-deserved dinner out, you will tell them that you spent the last twelve hours researching articles for your paper, but in reality, you probably spent half that time or even (much) less. When you are not ridding yourself of interruptions, distractions and unnecessary breaks, your tasks will always take three to four times the amount of time needed. 

When you tell yourself that you only have one hour to research all the articles needed for your paper, you are going to zero in on the task with such focus that any texts coming through to your phone will all be deemed interruptions and you will probably put your phone on silent. 

You will start to realize that we really prevent ourselves from reaching true greatness by not putting time allocations on progress points. 

Let us say that your problem is a lack of organization. You want to clean your house and create a rigid structure to ensure that you never again miss a deadline, are late for a meeting and are in control of your day. When we sit and think about this task, it seems so large and cumbersome, almost impossible to overcome right? The first thing to do is to break it up. 

Break up the task into smaller goals and put timelines on each of them. In order to make your life more organized, perhaps you break up your goals into something smaller like: clean the house, declutter the house, find an accountability buddy, buy an agenda and start preparing for each day the night before. 

Now that the giant goal has been broken down into smaller, more manageable goals, you can now assign them strict timelines. Give yourself four hours to clean your house, from top to bottom. You might argue that four hours is not enough, but if you pop in some headphones, put on your favourite soundtrack and get to work, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish with four hours. 

Start chipping away at each goal in this manner. Think about how much time you think you need, for example, ‘I need the entire weekend to clean my house,’ and ruthlessly pair down how much time you think you need. Give yourself a time constraint which makes you feel uncomfortable and watch your focus and determination grow. You will be amazed at how amazing your house can look after three hours of uninterrupted cleanup.

By making ourselves uncomfortable with being comfortable we will achieve goals we never thought were attainable. 

Once you complete a goal, congratulate yourself. Perhaps you go out for a coffee, watch a thirty-minute television show or simply take a nap, but acknowledge how hard you worked and that you deserve a break. Once your break is over, get started on the next task. 

When you start pairing down the time associated with tasks you will realize that the biggest limitation to goal completion is ourselves. We tell ourselves that it is impossible to read for thirty minutes each night, but for some odd reason, we have no issue keeping up with our favourite television program. We say we have no time to eat healthily, but for some reason we have no issue spending massive amounts of money on takeout, which forces us to take on extra shifts to pay for such an extravagance.

When I had the idea to write this article I gave myself three hours to write it out. I went to a local coffee shop, treated myself to a cup of java and got to work. Even when I wanted to scroll through Instagram, call a friend or respond to a text, I did not because I simply could not afford to waste one of the precious minutes assigned to the task. 

My theory is not fail-proof, sometimes a project or goal takes much longer than originally anticipated, but the simple act of starting the task, with a strict timeline is what afforded me the opportunity to reassess how much time I actually needed. This tactic simply gets you moving and movement keeps you moving, so the very act of starting is the true claim to fame. 

Instead of reading one more article today, lazing on the couch for another hour or saying you will start tomorrow, give yourself a tight deadline for today. Tell yourself that you are going to spend the next sixty minutes carving your own mini-goals, which will get you closer to that larger goal you have been dreaming about. Make yourself uncomfortable by starting today and watch your completion rate begin to soar. You will be amazed at what you can do with sixty minutes of precious time. 

Instead of feeling guilty for one more second about not walking the dog enough, spending enough time with your partner, taking care of your house or improving yourself, spend that time completing an action that will make you feel better immediately. Take that pup for a stroll, go and give your partner a hug and ask them how they are doing, quit avoiding the dishwasher and simply load it up and turn it on or start that blog today and watch how the very act of doing versus thinking changes how you feel about the task, yourself and your outlook on life in general. 

Successful People Aren’t Busy: The Secret to Reach Your Next Level of Success

In order to reach a true level of consistent, long-term success you must learn to master your own emotions, thoughts and outlook on life.

“Oh I am just so busy, I barely have time to think today.”

Believing that you are too busy to achieve your goals is the biggest lie we tell ourselves. We are only as busy as we believe we are, so busyness is not a fact, but a belief we teach ourselves. 

“Those who are wise won’t be busy, and those who are too busy can’t be wise.”

― Lin Yutang, The Importance of Living

In order to transform your life from busy to beneficial one must start being ruthless with themselves, how they spend their time and who they spend their time with. We also need to start being ruthlessly honest with ourselves as to where we are wasting time. 

The first question I have for you is how do you start your day?

Do you spend thirty minutes hitting snooze each day? Well, you are not getting a good sleep doing that, nor are you starting your day off on the right foot, so this technique needs to be adjusted. Either go to bed earlier, or set your alarm for later, but the act of hitting snooze puts us in this odd purgatory-like state where we are telling ourselves that we are not prepared for the day, we are not looking forward to the day and we are literally avoiding the forthcoming day. 

Starting each day with a positive, optimistic mindset is essential to have the tenacity to get through the tough bits each day is filled with. Each day is filled with little (or big) irritations, distractions, issues and problems. By starting your day with gratitude, positivity and the right footing (by literally getting out of bed and not hitting the dreaded snooze) these missteps may not bring you down as much as they have in the past.

Making time for journaling, meditation, preparing for your day and having a healthy meal are ideal for the morning, but start with baby steps. Slowly start integrating positive habits into your day and as one becomes normalized, slowly and steadily continue to add more and more until you have a strong, positive starting off point for the rest of your day.

If you stopped hitting snooze what inconveniences would vanish from your life?

If you are not running late for work, perhaps every red light which stops you will cease feeling like it is personally victimizing you.

If you are getting up on time, perhaps you will have time to make that pot of coffee you vow to make each night and actually save a few bucks this week.

If you are out of bed an hour before you leave the house, perhaps you will avoid that daily argument with your spouse about who is more behind schedule and who needs to get ready first, so that you can actually enjoy one another’s company before heading out for the day.  

“Go back to school? Are you insane? I can barely get through my day as it is…how would I ever add school to my routine?

When you think you are too busy to add another task or requirement to your life, you might be right. 

“It is not enough to be busy; so are the ants. The question is: What are we busy about?”

― Henry David Thoreau

As we add more onto our plate, we should also be good at removing items from our plate as well. Successful people are experts at cutting the fat. In order to be successful you have to be a good delegator. One thing that I have noticed that consistently impedes success is the inability of letting go. It is extremely egotistical to think that you yourself have to do everything yourself in order for it to be done right. 

Successful people are experts at cutting the fat.

If you honestly think that the world would stop turning if you did not do all that you do, you need to start getting uncomfortable. Every tiny task does not need to be done by you, nor does it need to be done the way you think it needs to be done.

I have a friend who will not let her husband clean the kitchen ever. It sounds like a terrible situation for her and a great one for her spouse, but when I asked her why she does not let him clean the kitchen she said, “He doesn’t know how to load the dishwasher properly.” I looked at her quizzically, and asked, “but he does fill it and turn it on?” “Yes,” she said quickly, “but it isn’t done the way I would do it, so I would rather just do it myself.” This is a clear example of someone outright refusing to make their life easier. News flash, there is no ‘right’ way to fill a dishwasher, as long as it is filled, the job is done well enough. 

Think about your own life and reflect on this example, are there things in your work or home life which you refuse to relinquish for a reason such as the one above? Can you see how silly they seem when you actually think about them?

“I am so busy and I have so much to do, but I cannot even begin to think about asking for help because I do not want to bother anyone else with my woes.”

Successful people are good at asking for help, delegating responsibility and understanding where they are needed and where they are not needed. 

“Never let your ego get in the way of asking for help when in desperate need. We have all been helped at a point in our lives.”

― Edmond Mbiaka

Asking for help is not a weakness, but a great strength. Understanding how you can scratch someone else’s back and how they can scratch yours is the magic of life. 

Perhaps at work you have a giant report due at the end of the month. Why not delegate certain aspects of it to your team, especially the ones who have acknowledged that they would like more responsibility? Do not take credit for their work, but rather, let your supervisor know that the final product was a team effort. You kill two birds with one stone this way, your report gets done, without you having to work until midnight every day this month and your staff feel valued, plus they get an additional project to add to their resume for forthcoming promotional opportunities. 

Make sure that you are utilizing your role and your team appropriately. Whether you are in a managerial or team position, be firm with your boundaries, clearly understand your roles and responsibilities and utilize your time effectively. If you have time to socialize at work, I would argue that you are not as busy as you claim to be. Be harsh with yourself and ensure that you are assessing your life unbiasedly. 

Delegating responsibility, at work and at home, is critical to reach your next level of success. 

 “We need to do a better job of putting ourselves higher on our own ‘to do’ list.” —Michelle Obama, former First Lady

You cannot be killing it at work if you do not have a balanced household. Work with your spouse to see how things could be more balanced. If you feel that your daily household tasks are bogging you down, why not ask the love of your life for a helping hand? I cannot think of anyone who would be (or should be) more eager to help you. 

Learn to understand where your presence and energy are best utilized. Stop saying ‘yes’ to every invitation you are sent. You do not have to go to an acquaintance’s birthday party, which will eat up your entire Saturday night. 

You do not have to go to that never-ending committee meeting, if you have just reasons why it is not adding value to your department and remove it from your calendar. 

You do not have to chat with your annoying colleague every morning for fifteen minutes, if it does not bring you joy. 

You do not need to go to every Sunday dinner at your in-laws house, if it does not lift you up, but depletes you. 

Cut out the stuff which is not serving you and you will multiply the time you have for progress and pleasantries.

“I am so stressed that I could just curl up into a ball and cry.”

Individuals who are successful are cool, calm and collected. 

One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was from a horse master. He told me to go slow to go fast. I think that applies to everything in life. We live as though there aren’t enough hours in the day but if we do each thing calmly and carefully we will get it done quicker and with much less stress.

Viggo Mortensen

It is super hard to convey an aura of success if your outward appearance is frazzled. If you never seem to know where your keys are, are running late for every meeting, or just look stressed you will not be seen as a person who others will see (or want to see) as in charge. 

How you are perceived by others is important, especially in the workplace. No one wants to work with the person who is always jumping to conclusions, stressed out or complaining about being overworked. Learn to manage your emotions first and manage your time second; you will realize that a lot of your time issues had to do with how you perceived things to be versus how they actually are. Realize that how you dress, how you react and how speak is noticed by others.

“I work so hard, I just do not understand why I can’t catch a break!”

In order to be successful and happy in life you must learn to cut out the bullshit from your day.

“Some of us are busy doing things; some of us are busy complaining.”

― Debasish Mridha

You have to learn to organize your day, time and mind to only focus on the things which better you and your life. When I meet someone who is trying so desperately hard to improve themselves or their circumstances and is unsuccessful, I know that there is (probably) an issue with execution.

Disorganization will keep you busy, but not with the right things. 

If you are not an organized person, your day controls you versus you owning your day. In order to be successful, you need to be in control of each and every day. A disorganized person spends most of their day chasing their requirements. They run around, haphazardly, from one event to the next, barely able to register what is happening, let alone enjoy their coffee. 

When you organize your day, plan for it, prepare for it and are ready for events, duties and tasks before they can get ahead of you, you are on the road to success. You are able to control the events coming at you and clearly determine what needs your attention and what is unnecessary drama. 

When you take steps at removing disorganization or poor planning from your routine, you will see your time to begin to expand. You will leave for work refreshed, rather than exhausted before the day has already begun. You will savour your morning coffee and lunch because you will make the time to mindfully prepare them and also have the time to enjoy them. 

The energy to be successful comes from taking proper care of yourself and your needs before the needs of others. We are of no service to others, personally or professionally speaking, when we are depleted of energy. 

“I couldn’t get everything I needed done today, but I will work twice as hard tomorrow.”

You stop doing before your to-do list is done. 

“A day can really slip by when you’re deliberately avoiding what you’re supposed to do.”

― Bill Watterson, There’s Treasure Everywhere

A person who is struggling to achieve success also struggles to complete tasks. If you spend a lot of time each day negotiating with yourself (or others) why a task can be put off for another day (or longer), you are working against yourself. The energy you are expending justifying sitting on the couch instead of doing the tasks you need to do is probably greater than just doing the task itself. 

It is sometimes shocking how something which has been nagging you for days, weeks or even months can sometimes take so little time to actually complete and remove from your life. 

I had a closet which needed organizing which was on my mind for months. It plagued me, it stressed me out when I was trying to relax and it irritated me (mentally and emotionally) every time I saw. Simply looking at the mess made me feel bad about myself. It was a constant reminder of how I was letting myself down. It allowed me a reason to be hard on myself, in an unhealthy way, which depleted me of energy, rather than giving me the energy to do smart work.  

When I finally realigned my energy from thinking about the problem to (finally) fixing the problem I was amazed that it took me less than thirty minutes to correct this issue and remove it from my life. Less than thirty minutes, but I allowed this problem to fester for an entire season. Upon reflection of this situation, I now always try to plough through and get the work done, especially when I know it will take fifteen minutes or less. 

“Therapy, yoga, meditation, and exercise? Who has time for all of that?”

A person who does not take care of their mental and physical health will always struggle to reach their peak levels of success.

“Mental health needs a great deal of attention. It’s the final taboo and it needs to be faced and dealt with.” – Adam Ant

You cannot be successful without doing right by yourself first. If you do not make your mental, physical and emotional health a priority, there is only so far you can go on grit alone. In order to attain long term success one must be resilient. In order to become resilient an individual must understand how to rest properly. If you ignore your body, and the clear warning signs it delivers to you during peak stress, your ability to do will be jeopardized. 

Once you learn to make yourself a priority and care for yourself the way you care about growth you will master the art of long term success. Once you are no longer battling it out with yourself to do more each day, but rather understanding how to strategically align your energy with the things that matter most, you will be winning like you have never won before. 

When you realize that an hour long walk after dinner with your puppy is actually more beneficial to your success than trying to cram in another hour of work, you are thinking long-term gains instead of short-term wins. 

When you begin to realize that making the time to prepare a healthy lunch instead of grabbing cheap takeout or not eating at all is better for you in the long run, you are no longer fighting with yourself, but on the same team. 

When you realize that an evening out with a loved one is not a waste of time, but an essential use of time for making significant connections with others, you will start utilizing your work time (even more) smartly. 

Once you start integrating your work time into a balanced, healthy lifestyle that is when you will start working smarter instead of harder. You do not need to work on your professional goals every minute of every day in order to be successful, rather you need to start spending your working minutes more critically.  You will work hard, but not necessarily more.

A successful person takes advantage of the seemingly insignificant minutes in the day. 

“How did it get so late so soon?”

― Dr. Seuss

Fifteen minutes on the train to work should not be wasted time. Ten minutes between meetings is not the time to scroll Instagram. The thirty minutes before bed are not meant to be spent staring blankly at your television screen.

Once you start seeing the worth and value of every minute of every day you will begin to find so much lost time. You will start to realize that you do have time to read a book a month, if you start to utilize your commute to work better. 

You will start to realize that you can be fully prepared for each meeting, if you spend those seemingly insignificant moments between meetings to go over the agenda, read over the previous meeting minutes and take quick notes on what you need to address with your colleagues. 

You will start to realize that the thirty minutes before bed are the most critical moments of the day, where you can reflect on what went well for you, where you can improve in the future, prepare for the forthcoming day and spend a few moments meditating to quiet your thoughts and prepare for a good night’s rest. 

“There is so much to do and such little time.”

As I continue to grow older my responsibilities towards myself and others continue to grow.

I never say I am busy though because I do not have a busy life, but a life which is full. I have a life of purpose and I spend my time on the things which matter and have learned to delegate, ignore and remove responsibilities which are not essential to my life’s happiness, success or pleasure. 

I have learned that as my responsibilities grow in importance I have very little time for insignificant and silly stuff I use to. I no longer have a weekend to wallow over a rude comment from a co-worker, trying to decipher what they ‘truly’ meant from their passive aggressive words. 

I no longer have time to fret about if the baseboards are clean before guests arrive. 

I no longer have the energy to stay in a position which I have outgrown and is no longer challenging me. 

I no longer would accept a relationship which is not making me a better person.

Yes, there is so much to do and there is only a finite amount of time, which is why we should quit spending time as though it were infinite. 

See today as the opportunity to be who you want to be. Do you want to be the person who was late for work because they slept in and could not find their key for thirty minutes? Do you want to be the person who ate a fast food burger in their car, while watching YouTube videos during their lunch or the one who mindfully packed a salad and joined friends outdoors for sixty minutes of recharging? Do you want to be the person others go to, to complain, be lazy or complacent with or do you want to be the person others go to, to be challenged, motivated and recharged to try and try again?

Success is not an endpoint, but a lifelong journey. Some days you win and other days are learning opportunities. Waking up each day with a positive mindset and the determination to make today a good day is half the battle. Do not weigh yourself down with all the days you have failed in the past, but learn from them. Take your learnings with you in stride, but do not carry them around as proof as why today cannot be better than yesterday.

Every single day is another opportunity to build the life you dream of.